dear baby m [you are our light at the end of this very dark tunnel]

Here is another glimpse inside my heart. Someday I hope to share this blog with our children to let them know how much we loved them.... before they were even born. ❤️

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dear baby m,

If you're reading this, I want you to know how incredibly much I love you. You've been prayed for more than you could even fathom.

You are a true gift from God.

As I sit here and type this tonight (May 15, 2021), my heart is broken. This was our fourth IUI cycle to get you here and I am supposed to test in two days. However, I have physical signs that you have not been conceived.

This time stings more than the last three.

Your daddy had good feelings about this cycle, and I did too. I even had my first at-home positive ovulation surge, so I thought for sure that was a good sign and you would make your entrance into this world in nine months!

Nine months would be February though, so if you're anything like me...that month is way too cold in Iowa to celebrate a birthday!

While I feel the pain and sadness of loss right now, I know that is temporary. I know you are coming. Your mama is just antsy and impatient and cannot wait to meet you!

Once you are finally here...once I hold you in my arms...it will all be worth it.

All the pain. All the tears. All the heartache. Once I look into your eyes, it will all be 100% worth it.

If you're reading this, I want you to know your dad and I are still fighting for you––and we won't stop until you're here.

YOU are our light at the end of the tunnel.

xoxo,

your mama