I'll be the first to say that I wasn't thrilled with what the doctor told Brian he needs to do. (If you have no idea what I'm talking about, make sure to read the post prior to this one.)
My husband didn't have a high sex drive to begin with, and with all the stress added to make a baby, our sex life was not fun. It was a job.
So, what was he supposed to do? Go in the other room and do his thing?
After that first time lying in bed alone, I knew this wasn't going to be good.
Add this to the list of Things They Don't Tell You About Infertility: It can be extremely isolating even when you're going through it with your partner.
After some excruciating nights sleeping back to back or in separate beds, a few tears, lots of anger, and just not jiving like we typically do, we both had enough and decided if we were going to do this, we were going to do it together. That means no more solo time–it's time to start having A LOT of sexy time (sorry Mom and Dad, TMI).
I keep going back to low sex drives and intimate disconnection because it is an important part of our story. This was a BIG issue during the "time of the unknown" (that's what I've decided to call the period of time we were trying to make a baby with no luck and no explanation). I felt like we weren't intimate enough, and Brian felt like when we were intimate, he just had a job he had to complete.
Can you imagine your intimacy going from something fun and exciting to something that feels like going to work???
We made it through about 6 weeks of the 6 months we were told by the doctor. I remember sitting at my desk at work, choking back tears as I thought about how hard it was to do this, and on my next break, I went out to the hallway and called the fertility clinic to at least get on their waiting list.
Imagine my surprise when the receptionist said, "Actually, we have a cancellation for Monday of next week. Would that work for you?"
Wait–were the stars aligning in our favor for once?
I called on Friday, February 21, they were able to get us in for a consultation on Monday, February 24, and we were leaving for a 10-day vacation to Hawaii on Thursday. Whoa, I have so much to do!