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  • Writer's picturewannabe_mom

Leaving Hawaii in the sunset & facing our new reality head-on

Our vacation was absolutely amazing––I mean, how could visiting best friends in Hawaii NOT be absolutely amazing?

But every vacation must come to an end.

As planned, Brian did his blood work and another sperm sample once we got home. We were hoping and praying that the first one was just a fluke, or a mixup, or some sort of unexplained mystery.

Again, he chose the more comfortable route (I don't know why you wouldn't!)––doing it at home and getting it to the clinic within an hour.

"Taking the little brown bag full of my man stuff to the lady at the front desk was the most awkward moment of my life. Everyone who's at the clinic working or waiting knows what I just had to do 15 minutes ago."

At this point, he didn't know he'd have to do it approximately 5 more times.

One of my favorite things about Brian is his sense of humor. He always knows how to lighten the mood. Like when he sent me this picture on his way to the clinic. I burst out laughing at my desk.


Test results and next steps

We had to wait 2 business days for the results this time and the tests were done on a Thursday, so we experienced our first––of which would become many––"waiting zones" (that's what I've decided to call the long, lingering moments where time seemed to stand still in this journey).

Here's what we learned after our waiting zone from these tests and where we go from here:

  • Still no sperm found in the sample (gosh darn it!)

  • Lab work showed low testosterone

  • Referral to a urologist for more thorough tests and a possible MRI

  • Prescription of Clomiphene (commonly known as #Clomid) for Brian: half a pill daily

You may have heard of Clomid––it's an oral infertility medication typically used to treat female infertility by tricking the body into thinking estrogen levels are lower than they actually are. This then stimulates hormones in your brain to trigger egg development and release (which is known as ovulation).

Did you know Clomid can also be used to treat male infertility?

We didn't either! This gave us a spark of hope. A pill that could help Brian produce sperm.You can read more about Clomid for male fertility treatment here


I have a lot to say on this subject––including all the thoughts and feelings swirling in my brain after receiving these results and next steps.

Oh, and did I mention a global pandemic is about to overtake our lives in a few days?

Stay tuned for my next post which will discuss all these feelings in depth, my thoughts regarding the lack of resources for male infertility, and how COVID-19 rudely interrupts our #journeytoparenthood.

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