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  • Writer's picturewannabe_mom

Open the blinds (+ a message from Randall Cunningham)

We've covered quite a lot of ground these last few weeks, and if you've made it this far with us, you may be wondering how we kept our cool through all the tests and appointments and unknown and heartache (especially after my last post about grief).

  • Or how we continued showing up and living our day-to-day lives

  • Or how I learned a whole new role at my job

  • Or how Brian performed his duties as an Operations Manager without missing a beat

  • Or how we handled police investigations and insurance claims after finding out there were over 100 gunshot holes in the side of our home. You guys! I can't make this stuff up. We live in a newly developed area that is completely safe, but the street sign by our home and our siding/window trim became someone's target practice.

This may sound cliche, but boy, is it true:

Even when something absolutely awful or traumatic happens and YOUR world stops, the world around you keeps on spinning.

I'm not saying there weren't (aren't) days that were (are) positively horrible––there were (are) definitely those days. But somehow you have to figure out how to mix in some normalcy and distraction with your grief.


During a traumatic event (natural disasters, COVID-19, etc.) I always look for the helpers. And in the midst of our life-changing event, we had so many helpers.

That's really what today's post is about. The people who showed up for us and continue to show up for us in the midst of our heartache. Our families. And our friends. Our people.

Oh, and legendary football players like Randall Cunningham.

First off, did you know you there's an app with a bunch of celebrities and athletes on it and for a price (varies from person to person) they'll record a personalized video for you? It's called Cameo and that's what I got Brian for his birthday.

I sent my buddy Randall a quick note to tell him he's Brian's all-time favorite athlete and I told him about the bad news we recently got. I let him know Brian's birthday is on September 12 and there would be absolutely nothing better than for Brian to receive a personalized video message from him.

The video could not have turned out better. I texted it to Brian the morning of his birthday and he cried like a small child. Mission. Accomplished.


Yes, Randall is pretty stinkin' awesome–but let me tell you about our people.

Early in the week following Brian's surgery, Ryan and Kirby (my brother and sister-in-law) stopped by after work. Brian was still in recovery mode and I had just logged off work for the day. And basically, we were still in a bit of shock and sulk-worthy depression.

Kirby sashayed into our living room and said,

"Oh my gosh–it's gorgeous outside–let's get out on that deck and soak up some sunshine. And wow, it's so dark in your house...

Here, let me open your blinds."

She then proceeded to let the sunshine cascade through our living room and scooted us outside so quickly we didn't have time to put up a fight.


We consider ourselves very blessed to have a huge support system of people that, although they may not know exactly how to respond, they're still very willing to waltz into our home and open our blinds.

  • Like my dad who showed up at our house shortly after we got home from Iowa City with groceries (and the very specific coffee I requested)

  • All the gorgeous flower deliveries we received after surgery that made our kitchen island look like a mini greenhouse

  • The countless cards and chocolates and Starbucks gift cards and even homemade snack mix that arrived at our home

  • The visitors who dragged a chair from our dining room table into our bedroom and sat with Brian to help him pass the time

  • Our neighbor who came over and mowed our lawn

  • Brians friends/co-workers who spent their lunch breaks at our house

  • My mom who made home-cooked meals for us and stayed awhile each day to just be present; and who watched our dogs for a few weeks while Brian recovered; and who braided my hair like she used to do when I was a little girl

  • My best friend from out of state who happened to be in town for a family event over the weekend and came over for early morning coffee and a good cry

  • Brian's buddy who brought over scotcheroos and a pan of homemade lasagna

  • The co-worker I met at my old job who has turned into one of my BFFs and still checks on me daily; she gets me

  • The dozens of people who texted us, called us and sent us messages to let us know they're thinking of us

  • I'm sure I'm unintentionally forgetting someone in this long list––please don't be offended if I forgot you!

Still today–as we continue to fight with the infertility monster on a daily basis–the love and support of our people has not wavered.


Next time someone you know is going through a hard time–even if you don't understand it–I encourage you to figure out a way to...

open the blinds.


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