to love you. that's what i dreamed of

i called you my babies

all four of you

to me, life began in that petri dish

when the sperm fertilized the egg

how could it not?

...when i want this as much as i do

what it would be like

to feel you kick

and bring you into the world

to hold you

and peer into your eyes

to kiss your cheeks

and watch you wiggle your toes

to love you.

that's what i dreamed of

---

i called you my babies

all four of you

when they told us we have four fertilized eggs

i thought you'd all survive

how could i not?

...when i want this as much as i do

what it would be like

to be your mom

and watch brian become a father

to introduce you to our families

and see their eyes light up with joy

to finally join the 'mom' club

and stop being so sad all the time

to love you.

that's what i dreamed of

---

i called you my babies

all four of you

i felt lighter, full of hope

and i whispered to myself 'maybe this time'

how could i not?

....when i want this as much as i do

what it would be like

to teach you about Jesus

and His grace and love

to hold your hand

as you write your own story

to build this family

that i've longed for

all my life

to love you.

–all four of you–

that's what i dreamed of