Remember that old saying from childhood, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?"
If I had a choice, I'd choose the sticks and the stones.
you got any kids? says the young cashier scanning my groceries
any expecting news yet? yells the unknowing neighbor from their deck
how many kids do you have? asks the oblivious stranger at a bridal shower
your eggs are gonna dry up if you don't get started! blurts the well-meaning great aunt
you ready for your kids to go back to school? says the barista while I wait for my coffee
we're flexible when it comes to your kids and their activities. explains the job recruiter
you don't understand––just wait til you have kids! exclaims my coworker who is so busy
just relax, enjoy the process and stop stressing. says my friend who seems to get pregnant just by looking at her husband
be patient––this is God's plan! says my sister in Christ
I would love to have all your alone time! blurts a friend with a baby on her hip and toddler attached to her leg
we're pregnant! exclaims one of our favorite couples
I always wished our kids would grow up together. says my friend who already has a five and three-year-old
you guys knocked up yet? asks my husband's buddies
my sister tried this and it worked for her. maybe you should try it. says the friend who just doesn't understand
no.
not yet.
hopefully soon!
we’re working on it!
we’re trying!
someday!
no kids yet!
I know, I need to relax
ok, I'll try it (even though I already have twice)
I reply––kindly––and, repetitively––with an obnoxiously fake grin plastered on my face, hoping the strangers and friends can’t see through the pain in my eyes or hear the heartbreak in my voice.
Words hurt. Words have power.
A seemingly innocent comment or question can send my "as-of-two-seconds-ago" great day spiraling into the depths of darkness and despair.
And I know I'm not alone. Did you know 1 in 8 couples experience difficulty conceiving?
I challenge you to remember that the next time you make small talk with a stranger or are chatting with a friend. There are many other things you can chat about, like the weather.
